what do i do
with all these thoughts of you,
trapped in my head –
like a fly in the spider’s web…
like the moth drawn to the flame,
i push against the pull –
but the effort –
all in vain…
submersed in thoughts of you,
i waste away –
no struggle against the drowning –
washed away.
no need to throw a rope of hope –
i chose to lose my way…

in my defense

beneath it all –
even below the ever growing pile of discontent…
ever so patiently –
my – defense –
(scar-tissue effect).
time passes;
and just as quickly as a borrowed breath – returned,
this now,
becomes our was…
what of it,
false hope clinging in vain to should?
if we are less than everything allowed,
why – be – at all?
oh! i suppose there could be desire to rise above,
even birds with broken wings
never forget how it feels to fly…


safe –
you think –
behind your wall of – why,
hiding from no one –
but – yourself…
is it the light you flee?
afraid to – see?
or rather,
to be seen?
so easily you cling to presume,
as if it were your shield,
completely – unaware –
the truth you fear
merely shackles you with regret –
blinds you from seeing,
it is that which ultimately,
sets you free.

broken still

i hear your sadness
screaming through the silence…
big sky –
little moon –
somewhere on the other side of my world,
you –
behind the clouds…
what absence do you run from –
what darkness terror
keeps you locked away?
safe inside your guarded walls
i cannot reach you…
what feeling worse than lonely –
what pain more real than
breaking heart,
outstretched hand – empty –
unanswered prayer…
broken still –
emotion spilled into a void –
longing cuts like shards of glass –
the soul…
you are my pain,
and passion,


wanting more than less –
needing more than have –
i find my life in shadow,
standing still…
consumed by doubt –
entombed within the walls of disbelief –
i feel the madness creep
into my living,
forcing me to contemplate my fate.
do i seek refuge here
in dyeing’s harbor?
commit to nothing –
become UN-done?
how simple then,
the letting go –
no need –
for need,
no longing –
to belong…
so sweet the peace that
must come with the passing.
so great the un-weight,
un-encumbered –
un-entwined –
the soul,
aged captive –
finally free…

obligations of grey.

agenda –
it seems we simply exist –
to exist.
black and white priorities muted to obligations of grey.
we enter auditoriums of suppose,
yet exit before encores of know.
ignorant to ownership of capability –
obtusely self-absorbed!
with characters flawed from addictions to same,
we fall in line –
paupers by convenience –
reciting litany’s to camouflage our disdain.
and yet,
when offered avenues of alteration,
deny with apoplectic revulsion accommodation to insinuation of refrain.
we have become,
to complacency.
prisoners to indifference –
unaware we hold keys to the locks of our self-imposed commonality…

of Christians – indisposed.

we are not sent into the darkness.
there is no crime committed from platform of unforgiven.
no matter how far we stray from a destination of good,
we are never truly lost.
regardless our acts of careless abandon.
in spite of our behavior –
reckless indiscretion –
we hold within the fabric of our being,
guarantee of freedom –
pardon for sins we’ve yet to commit.
callous –
with less than intentional conviction –
fabricated semblance of faith –
we stand defiant in the face of chaos we most surely designed,
yet refuse to kneel on alters we demand.
foolishly indignant –
testify in courts of contradiction –
oblivious to our flagrant acts of treason –
forged certificates of Christianity in one hand –
while the other holds a hammer and three nails..

stories that begin with us

and there –
written hastily on flashcards of presume –
our good intentions.
so eager to share,
we flash them without hesitation.
regardless the level of acceptance,
we feel redeemed –
how can it be –
we ask –
reception of indifference?
was it less than the necessary more?
edges too exposed?
what purpose –
pursuit of accommodation –
when left standing just outside the door of acceptance?
surely there is nothing more sad than stories that begin with us,
yet end with –

to nothing…

to make it stop.
the endless sound of waves upon the shore.
the hissing of the setting sun – sliding without reluctance into the sea.
the wailing of the dying – day –
sad victim to the night.
to simply make it –
in the sweet escape of that moment –
removed from the evidence of sound –
no contemplation of why,
or what,
or even reference to suppose.
in that sacred situation of nothing –
to merely – be.
how seductive – thoughts of unbecoming.
to exit – quiet – from the courtroom of disallowed.
free at last from chains of should.
unbound – no longer – by petitions of presume.
pardoned from occurrence of something –
unobliged –
obligated to –