what then…

what then?

when no more darkness finds itself extinguished by the light?

when all the strength contained within the shell of this body ebbs away –

 

what then?

 

will i –

mind free from consternation –

lay down,

become – undone?

 

what then?

 

when morning comes and finds me less than whole,

yet so much more than was…

to fly above the sky and feel the brush of angels wings.

and then –

perhaps –

come face to face with God?

 

oh that the world would listen –

simple truth –

instead of learning in the end,

knowing –

all along!

just a whisper of addiction…

some of you understand.

some of you have also heard the voice –

sometimes a shout –

most often a whisper.

some of you own the words to enlighten –

lift up –

deter,

while others cannot find the courage required –

not,

no longer an option…

 

for you,

i say a prayer…

 

your battle –

so much more than presumed,

intense,

more than allowed.

and while someone somewhere prints volumes to suppose,

they cannot truly ever understand.

 

this pain is your fight.

these scars are yours.

and you wear them –

too often with shame.

for you, i say a prayer…

 

if only those of you that,

feel ownership to denounce –

un-justify –

condemn,

could bear the weight of inability for just one day.

to understand the frustration of –

the aggravation from –

defeat.

how differently,

you would see them –

those all around you –

fighting to stay afloat –

deep water,

currents strong.

while just out of reach –

upon the shore –

chaos-free contentment…

 

for you,

much more than them,

i say a prayer…

departure

you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

 

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

 

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

 

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

 

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

verdict – jury of one.

words.

letters collected.

arranged.

shared on walls of expression.

isolated,

their meaning easily misconstrued.

 

however,

with implication of intent,

become either bullets of betrayal,

or bastions of benevolence.

 

how easily we fall victim to promises of emancipation.

with just the flicker of light,

we assume the darkness no longer our captor.

surely there is nothing more unfair than fear.

 

to long for morning when confined in prisons of night.

to long for waking from nightmares of despair.

to imagine daybreak.

Summer sun.

peace…

 

by what authority do you designate – hate?

who held your hand on the book of truth –

recited proclamations of presume?

 

i find it oh-so-hard,

to sit in audience of defamation –

constrained by chains of inconsideration,

unable to declare authority –

in courtrooms of suppose…

pious

 how often do we walk our routine of required agendas,

sanctimonious –

succinctly anti-social;

preoccupied by choice,

not confined by the humility of required remediation.

and of all the things conceived –

paramount to feelings of being content;

unrealized absolution;

sins –

unresolved…

 

circles –

we travel.

always leading back to the comfort of familiar places –

big fish –

oh so little ponds.

until that day when the levee breaks –

releases us from streams of complacency.

 

only then can we fully understand the small of where we’ve been –

comprehend the big of can,

the palpability of is –

and apropos of  conceptually un-imagined intimacy –

the acquisition of sanctification more profound than any presumed salvation.

 

piously devout,

we stand upon our thrones of discern –

arrogantly contest status of faith –

embellish feelings of consternation –

lost,

or saved?

how sad –

to join in lamentation of morality’s demise,

all the while,

hiding stones of misconceived perception inconspicuously behind our backs…

beautifully broken

 

if,

by chance,

you find yourself recipient of a gem when mining the streams of friendship,

by all means recognize it’s blessing.

it requires so little effort to show appreciation.

in a world where shiny trinkets of superficial beauty are definitely more treasured than the substantial and often taken for granted cast-iron commonalities,

it’s important to understand the difference between value and worth.

 

we all find ourselves walking along a shore of fractured shells.

for me,

the absence of presumed perfection allows opportunity for acceptance.

 

such comfort in the knowing –

a friend,

without pretense –

beautiful,

and just as broken…

arsenals of indifference

taken for granted.

a light available with the flick of a switch –

forgotten as easily as sunset –

consumed by night.

 

 

with less than disregard,

we close the book –

forget the stories of temporary companion.

disengaged from the process of relevance –

memories tossed with careless abandon into the placid sea of regret.

 

 

what purpose then –

the pursuit of interaction?

surely the absence of superficial accommodation less painful

than wounds incurred by relentless attacks

from arsenals of indifference…

is – diminished

how can you –

undo –

your – me?

remake –

your was?

how do you –

re-become?

 

ostentatious as – I am,

Pompous as conceit –

we suffocate our – could be;

hold captive in chains – our should…

 

oh so sad,

don’t you think,

the sound of regret?

footsteps down an empty street –

un-prayed prayers –

and paramount to these,

the deafening silence of is,

surreptitiously diminished to not!

repose of indifference

 

today i placed you
in my box of death –
closed the lid –
allowed your darkness,
absence – from my light…

bundled up,
with ribbons of regret,
i laid your sorrow by the door –
safe outside the fortress of my heart.

silent –
contained inside my chamber of refrain –
i watched the raindrops attach themselves to windows – closed,
clinging with cold deliberation to the glass…

today i placed your memory
where the shadows grow –
waited without sound –
allowed the silence audience in the arena of despair.

today –
i lingered for a moment more
upon the shore of your demise.
said my farewells –
loosened chains of regret,
and in that instant of your escape,
this captive heart,
realized,
for the first time,
how it felt to be finally set free…

accoutrements of irrelevance

indiscriminate –

obtrusive –

the frustration of a reality unintended.

what purpose creation –

ownership of concept –

if allowed to be flawed?

 

to try to understand the purpose of life without accepting the eventuality of death is frivolous – fictitious.

what would define hope if everything imagined was real –

tangible?

what reason would there be for faith in a world lacking supposition?

 

so often we raise our voice –

scream callous denigration –

to anyone that deviates from our predetermined paradigms of socially accepted behavior.

and if our articulation of doctrine fails to assuage the masses,

we reach into our arsenal of jurisprudence –

recite with zealous intent retributions from apocrypha of self-assumed conviction…

 

in the end –

judgment.

 

regardless action without faith –

faith without action –

submission to the author of creation stands paramount to absolution.

 

and yet i see you standing there –

self-imposed elevation –

placing accoutrements of irrelevance on the scale of (un)belief…