nothing

we hold on to our pain –

sometimes the only thing we feel –

scared to let it go,

afraid of – nothing…

 

empty –

a vessel of capability,

unfilled;

hands reaching for intention,

unrecognized…

 

so cold – the absence

of light;

no darkness more deep

than feeling all alone.

on wearing your frown…

i found myself –

upon the shore –

gazing in your eyes –

calm –

deep water.

 

i wanted you to know me –

feel my presence.

without – hesitation –

or reservation –

i tossed the stone…

 

ripples –

endless waves –

flowing outward.

and even if i wanted –

i could not stop them –

or even withdraw the effect

of my most curious touch

on your enigmatic mind!

forgiveness

words.

sometimes spoken in haste.

with deliberation we close our eyes –

hurl them like rocks against tin roofs.

perhaps its the sound of our frustration we need to hear.

regardless the damage resulting from the storm.

 

words.

sometimes captured –

corralled within the confines of black and white supposition.

less likely to be misread,

yet more available for misinterpretation –

inflection lost within the paradigms of silence.

 

words.

too many.

too few.

platform of inference.

epitaph of indifference.

how many moments of magnificent because of;

emotions subjugated by too few?

when compelled by conviction,

we manipulate monologues in an attempt to solicit solidarity.

our truth –

perfect;

our opinion –

unalienable.

and if,

by chance,

our doctrines met with opposition,

we fail to contemplate opportunity for conformity.

 

how sad –

to misunderstand the significance of the chaos!

of course –

life free of turmoil –

epitome of peace-on-earth –

preferred method of presentation.

 

but life survived in spite of;

experience of calm after the storm;

amazing spectacle of sunrise –

chasing demons of darkness into the light;

surely that contrast allows ownership of appreciation.

less likely are we,

in our human condition,

to take blessings for granted,

after spending time on our knees seeking recompense for behavior undeserving of even the presumption of forgiveness…

behind blue eyes

lips pursed tightly –

scream suppressed –

eyes masking the terror that hides within…

in this sad world –

silence becomes a much wanted,

much needed place –

(the voices never quiet),

 

but elusive;

the dissipating wisp of smothered flame,

phrases barely visible on foggy mirrored panes…

to find that place –

where dreams reside –

that Xanadu of peace –

to float like clouds upon a tranquil sky,

oh what release…

to find recompense –

from the madness,

(oh Father, where art thou?)

that would be the greatest gift!

more pure than gold –

to be held,

not just the one who holds!

just a whisper of addiction…

some of you understand.

some of you have also heard the voice –

sometimes a shout –

most often a whisper.

 

some of you own the words to enlighten –

lift up –

deter,

while others cannot find the courage required –

not,

no longer an option…

 

for you,

i say a prayer…

 

your battle –

so much more than presumed,

intense,

more than allowed.

and while someone somewhere prints volumes to suppose,

they cannot truly ever understand.

 

this pain is your fight.

these scars are yours.

and you wear them –

too often with shame.

 

for you, i say a prayer…

 

if only those of you that,

feel ownership to denounce –

un-justify –

condemn,

could bear the weight of inability for just one day.

to understand the frustration of –

the aggravation from –

defeat.

how differently,

you would see them –

those all around you –

fighting to stay afloat –

deep water,

currents strong.

while just out of reach –

upon the shore –

chaos-free contentment…

 

for you,

much more than them,

i say a prayer…

miles from ordinary

 

words unsaid –

touch un-felt –

 

promises, not made –

unbroken…

 

just how deep is too deep –

how real?

too real?

 

what is the penalty for touch –

instead of feel?

 

deep the water from your shore –

dark reservoir of intrigue –

and that safe room – behind your eyes –

illusive as – seems…

 

i would give a thousand – knows,

a million – haves –

for just one moment of your time –

(to understand, not assume)

 

dreams – i weave –

realities – i conceive –

engulfed within the enigma of you…

 

ethereal –

you are to me –

miles from ordinary!

departure

you hide behind your – suppose –

as if it were a shroud,

seemingly unaware of the audacity –

imposed by your flagrant transparency…

 

how awkward –

meeting here like this –

exposing all my is,

to find it wasted effort to your – presume!

 

when did the lines become so blurred?

boundaries,

redefined?

we used to travel the same path –

shared the same – once upon a time…

 

dangling now –

contemplating the letting go –

while you callously take flight on wings of indifference.

 

surely there is no sadness more intense

than dying –

without death!

trust

safe –

you think –

behind your wall of – why,

hiding from no one –

but – yourself…

 

is it the light you flee?

afraid to – see?

or rather,

to be seen?

 

so easily you cling to presume,

as if it were your shield,

completely – unaware –

the truth you fear

merely shackles you with regret –

blinds you from seeing,

it is that which ultimately,

sets you free.

perhaps a patch

i often find myself promoting allegiance to faith –

especially to those struggling in arenas of doubt.

i challenge them to step out of the chains of fear so inappropriately self imposed.

 

parables recited.

miracles referenced.

volumes of scripture quoted.

 

most often,

it seems the effort in vain.

reformation available yet undesired.

it seems the accouterments of vanity supersede the paltry garments of sincere.

 

yet in this season of contradiction,

i find my reservoir of believe nearly drained.

how can i offer admonition for religious insurrection

while wearing transparent Alb of supposed conviction?

 

who am i to stand behind pulpits of discern

with eyes closed to the inferiority of my own diminished capacity?

 

i suppose –

if measuring the volume of could in the much larger vessel of should –

we all find opportunity for replenishment.

and sometimes –

when feeling less than full –

perhaps a patch..

to sit in audience to – know.

obstinate,

don’t you think,

for you to stand outside the door to this dark room,

toss randomly –

like wooden matches flicked –

your insinuations?

 

ludicrous,

to presume yourself companion to my indifference.

you do not bare the scars of my assumed indiscretion.

and nowhere in the book of you

is there evidence to support incidence of (misconstrued) self-deprecation.

if not for lack of care,

i would invest more time into a study of your contradiction.

but knowing at the end of the day,

the conviction you suggest is nothing more than a mask your insensitivity holds residence behind –

careless of you –

to suppose.

when invitation was given without obligation to sit in audience to know.